A brief break in the rain

Jonkoping

It may have been raining - which the Danes found quite some amusement in (thanks guys) but I was happy to be on my way. I spoke to the lovely helpful Marie and apologised to her about the discussion she had to listen too. She too didnt like the woman's attitude, apologising to me saying there was nothing she could do, which was a pleasant surprise however I had expected nothing from her.

It was clear the other woman was in control/ responsible and had a vindictive control streak. (See joke about Thatcher and the sinking of the Belgrano.) She would not take anything for using the washing machine which was good of her and a nice up yours to the c**t.

I didnt have any breakfast as I would not give the c**t a penny more so headed off to Lagan expecting to get some breakfast there. Lagan came and went and by the time I got something to eat it was lunch. I was very happy that there was a road running parallel to the E4 and made good time Vaggeryd. Things started to get a lot hillier and my pace was getting slow, no breakfast had taken its toll, I somehow missed the Youth Hostel in Norrahammar and despite the hills not being that tough I was making hard work of Taberg and on. The run down to Jonkoping was just bloody minded determination and it was here that I was introduced to my best Swedish Hotel experience so far, The Elite Hotel in the centre of town.

It was just over 600sek for the night, central, clean good room, not big but everything was made well, clean and not falling apart and free Wifi for two hours. So after a quick shower and the now religious washing of my clothes I headed downstairs to The Bishops Arse for a burger and some beer.

Sadly as with most Swedish bars on a Friday/ Saturday night it had that terrible desperate atmosphere, everybody had the Im out to prove something attitude, totally tense and everyone doing their best to appear to be having a good time, there were nearly fights breaking out at the bar when they were trying to get served eugh. At least in Glasgow we have fun before we start the mindless drunken violence. So ignoring the lot of them, I poured over my maps enjoying real beer and some food. There was a couple at the bar who were human, but I only spoke to them briefly as I headed upto my room after first telling the Chinese, 6 from a coach load of seemingly 3000, were crammed in the small non-smoking room to me next door to me, creating more smoke than Mount Etna, to shut the door and put the fags out, the Chinese can smoke.

The next thing it was morning and I was about to be late for breakfast which I managed just, it was very good lots of fruit etc etc. but it was the setting, a high ceiling ballroom decorated like a French/ Italian opera house, the frescoes were excellent as were the proportions of the room. I made my two lunch sandwiches, resisted the waffles which I confess I now regret and headed out into, yes well guessed the rain.

A little bit of Vatten rund

HJO
Its only a couple of weeks ago, but there is little that stays in my mind except being wet and dirty. There is a race around this loch each year called Vatten Rund which I followed upto Hjo, where everything was fully booked. I ended up in the towns most expensive hotel which was hardly worth the money, but as options were zero I paid my 750sek to the ferryman. The room was mediocre at best, it looked like someone had randomly thrown bits of furniture in the room and hoped for the best. The bathroom certainly had been installed by drunk workmen of an uninterested disposition and and a complete lack of understanding of basic physics, but this didnt deter me from dragging all my wet and muddy gear into the shower with me.

Once the bathroom, hall and corridor floors were fully soaked and my wrung out clothes were drip drying on the towel rail I headed out for something to eat. I wont bore you any more, I got wet walking round the town, eat a Chinese meal thats strongest reason for being Chinese was that it contained rice and went to bed after drinking half a terrible 2,5% beer.

Its a rock and roll life on the road in Sweden.

Ljungby

I took my time getting out of Hassleholm, the people were very friendly and it was 11:30 before I was on the road in earnest.
At 11 I eventually bought breakfast (honey, fil and fruit) in Netto but after waiting 10min for the inept staff to try and fix two tills, I left abandoning my purchases to the clutches of the infinite conveyor belt.

On the way to Vankiva there is a most excellent cafe/ second hand/ Loppis, the people were the friendliest I had met so far. Im not certain that the wearing of a very tight sports top and buttock cupping sports trousers is appropriate in a cafe, but there was not a peep of complaint from me though I wasn't bold enough to ask for her picture.

I had fil and a couple of sandwiches, sitting beside the open fire. The tea was saved/ given a breath of life by adding the last Lipton yellow label. The staff were openly friendly a change really from Lund, perhaps tourists get to see another face of the Sweden.

On my way out of Hassleholm I organised my accommodation tonight in Ljungby, it is a few km out of town at the nature reserve and sounded good. However (greetings Alexander) at 19:30 I found myself standing in the middle of a deserted road, the rain hammering down and as darkness approached, Im at the top of a hill shouting in German at my phone which is held high above me with the speaker phone on full in a vain attempt to maintain signal quality. As I read over this a couple of weeks later, its funny but I was exasperated with the woman on the other end, who when she did answer was not exactly helpful or even intelligent.

When I eventually and very wearily arrived at Pensionat Sjoatorp, the woman who met me Marie I think was her name, was delightful, charming and agreed to throw my clothes in the machine. She was looking after the place for her neighbor. The room was crap, with its own special smell, the beds for children or dwarves. Decorated in dreary faded 1940s colours and furniture.

For the sophisticated amongst you, neither the dwarves, dancing girls, three bears or other disassociated but possibly perverse circus performers or fairy tale characters were in this miniature lopsided room. I was far too tiered to be interested if they were, but a Danish family were in the rest of the house. Friendly and fun, even some cheeky banter - which was much appreciated.

Post shower, I took my wet sweaty and surprisingly sticky clothes down to Marie to have them washed.
Thats when I met the c**t. The unhelpful woman on the phone had arrived and started by increasing the price, 50Sek for this, 100Sek for bedding etc. I showed her the printout from the Tourist Information but was too exhausted to argue the point, so told her that I thought this was poor behavior on her part I agreed to pay. She continued to try to make her point which I was in no mood to swallow, had I an ounce more energy and were we not so far out of town, her arse would have been the resting place for my foot.
She demanded the money immediately and had an altogether vindictive and nasty approach, which in a rapidly deteriorating atmosphere and mood I didnt hesitate to tell her about. She didnt like that I had a room the night before for 250Sek and told her it was significantly better.

When I returned with cash she attempted to appease the situation by feigning some interest in me and asked me where I was from etc etc, I told her it was none of her business and insisted on my change immediately and did my best "f**k you and the horse you rode in on" routine without actually saying anything, which had her very unsure and probably a little scared, intimidation, a little cruel but deserved.

Tired from a long and stressful day, I went to bed around 21:30 just in time for the dog to start barking - I jest you not. The lovely Mare dealt with it and there was not another noise except my snoring until morning. I was happy to get away even though it was raining heavily, I had clean dry clothes on for the next two minutes anyway and was looking forward to breakfast.

Hassleholm in the rain

Hassleholm

Today is Friday the somethingth and this is the news - Today it rained and it was windy.

I loved my route today, through forests and on secondary roads which normally would not be that bad despite a rolling resistance asymptotic to infinity. Yes asymptotic is my big word for today, we know a story about that dont we Conor?

You can all register with yourdictionary.com for word of the day, although US based they often make the distinction between English and American if not always positively.

Did I mention it rained today? Well when I did I meant rain in the biblical sense or even more appropriately these days the Hollywood sense mmmm deep man, you know the type of scene characterised by the fabulous one in the Matrix before Neo is given the blue or red option. Rain. Vertical. Punctuation.

Well as the Gods hurled their punishment at me with as much vitriol, spite and vigour the could muster I swam, crawled and dragged the bike through the sandy ash of the secondary roads and then ......... I saw my first Elk!!!

Elated, I could just see the sheen of its sleek muscular rear through the trees, rich dark chocolate brown in colour (Americans please note the spelling of this word, it challenged me greatly when I was a child and you could at least get it right) well as I approached cautiously, glad of the cover from the rain which at the time was bouncing back off the road as high as my front hub (thats the shiny bit in the middle that all the spokes go into Mum) I slowly moved towards it, the bike is nearly silent and it was up wind of me.

I cannot tell you the disappointed as in the next moment to realise it was a horses arse.

Following the necessary dose of chocolate and reflection of the instant karma involved, the horses arse pedaled on.

As it was getting late I stopped in Tyringe to organise somewhere to sleep further down the road, they probably are still mopping up the pools of water I dragged in, my boots had filled with water at some point and Id been pedalling for hours with lukewarm water sloshing around in my boots, it was good for me to get rid of it, but I was embarrassed at just how much water left me and stayed in the hut, my bladder does not hold that much.

The typical staff an uninformed bored teenager was helpful and even willing to forget about her mobile for a few minutes she found me somewhere to sleep for 250SEK and I was both delighted and interested to see what this brought.

My first weeks in Lund I payed 65e to 85e each night for shitty rooms in mediocre hotels before I found Svetoslavs place.
On arrival at my nights lodging it was without a doubt excellent, I was staying with the military in an old barracks, had it been full the one toilet/ shower would have been a drag but as I was alone it was fantastic.

I took all my bags into the shower with me and removed the sand, salt, mud and other detritus and did the same with my clothes, stacked it all in my room and had a shower. After washing my clothes, I ate the awful kebab I had brought with me from the city center, plugged in my electric boot dryers (cant decide if they are worth carrying further yet) and went to sleep warm clean and listening to the world service - perfect.

Two hours to Kavlinge

Virke

It was proving increasingly difficult to leave, I was organising this and preparing that and it was all begging to feel like a delay. Already in April I was getting bored talking about the trip and June was rapidly coming to a close. There were a number of false starts, the weather was atrocious, and I was getting far too comfortable at Jennys "Lilla Lomma", so after delaying another couple of days to meet Jenny on her return from Italy I had to get on my way, but after lunch even though my bags were packed, the wine with lunch and good company stole another day.

White wine tends to get me pissed very quickly despite my tolerance for varying and usually large amounts of alcohol in other forms. So it was 11am before I dragged my sorry arse as the saying goes, out of bed. I had repaired a tear that appeared from no where in one of the new rear panniers, so it had time to cure. At 17:00 I was finally ready to leave after repacking and organising another couple of essential things so despite the very late hour I did.

I started with my doddle pace, watching everything, enjoying being on the bike again, the weather was uncharacteristically warm and sunny - it was a wonderful evening to be on the bike. I was moving slowly but importantly I was moving. On arrival in Kavlinge the realization of how long it had taken me to reach here was a shock. The last time I cycled up this way it took 45min. or an hour. My right knee was complaining, but I had expected that - an old ski-ing injury (from the war you know) and the weight of my baggage was/ is too much.

Im used to 15kg as a maximum, normally fitting in the two rear panniers but this time I have 30kg or more and I am suffering, not just from the effort but from agility and speed. Im used to doing most of what I can with the bike unladen, whats worse is the new rear pannier rack is so far back the bike handles like a boat or even worse a Mercedes Combi circa 1997.

After much sweating, grunting and chocolate consumption at around 20:00 I reached a B&B just after Virke, but there was no way I was paying 80e for the night, so I phoned Jen and spent the night in Lilla Lomma again.

By dumping mainly paper I saved 3kg, Im washed, as are my clothes, Im fed and re-packed and Ill set off again in the morning at 8am.